Country Romeo

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Tall, tan and lean n’his jeans sure look boned,

his voice sounds real deep when he’s microphoned,

with a bass reverb-ed chuckle he’s a genuine cameo,

behind that silver belt buckle lies a Country Romeo.

 

Born a Yankee named Dudley (stage name’s “the Dude”),

that tan’s from a can and the wind-burn is rouge.

With hair salon curls he’s one hundred per cent fake

’cept for those boots, yup, they’re made out of snake.

 

Chorus: Now I know there are cowboys who are true and genteel,

and a phony just proves that there’s something that’s real,

enjoy this here song, sure happy to share it,

but if the 10-gallon hat fits – then buddy, just wear it.

 

Tag:       Are you catchin’ my drift?  Heck, I’m not sayin’ a lot, but …

wrappin’ bull-shit (pc: ‘bull-chips’)in tinsel don’t make it chocolate.

 

His homespun seductions make a real man’s skin crawl,

Don’t mess with him pardner, he’s quick on the drawl,

He’ll pick both of your ears off with just one double-entendre,

tho’ he speaks slow ‘n easy that’s one fast-talkin’ hombre.

 

His matin’ calls “darlin’” tho’ you’ve only just met,

Romeo’s always huntin’-up Country Juliet. :

She’s somebody’s daughter, maybe somebody’s wife, (background sotto voce: fer God’s sake)

But he’ll lasso her heart with lines “taken straight from his life”, (background sotto voce: give ‘r take)

breakin’ fillies with ballads ‘bout cheatin’, heartache, ‘n div-o-r-ce,

then rides into the sunset on a fresh rustled h-o-r-se.

                                                                      

Chorus: Now, don’t get riled up you cowboys who are true and genteel,

‘cos a phony just proves that there’s something that’s real,

hope you enjoyed this here song, I was sure happy to share it,

but if the 10 gallon hat fits – then buddy, just wear it.

 

Tag:       Are you catchin’ my drift?  Heck, I’m not sayin’ a lot, but,

wrappin’ bull-shit (pc alt.: ‘bull-chips’) in tinsel don’t make it chocolate.

 

Well, players keep playin’, ‘n I was once young and dumb,

’stead of brains in my head I was filled up with …gum(?)

But there does come a time to clean up your mind,

the Good Book says true lovin’ “leaves the childish behind.”

 

Listen up real good you ‘Country Romeo’s’,

it’s as clear as tequila, shoot, everyone knows,

your tired pick-up lines are a pain in the ass(pause)phalt,

the act is pure see-through, you’re a turd in a glass(pause)vault.

 

Tag:       Are you catchin’ my drift?  Heck, I’m not sayin’ a lot, but,

wrappin’ bull-shit (pc alt.: ‘bull-chips’) in tinsel don’t make it chocolate.

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